Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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