She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
