I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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