im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
