I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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