im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
