So many bounce houses so little time
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
