I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
