dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
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