if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
