That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
