It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Are we still banned from the library?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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