Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sober January is a disaster.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
