She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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