i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
