who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
