i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.