ADVERTISEMENT

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .

  Fav 6 977 2581

  share tweet
  

• (636): View more from Missouri

  Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

  Fav 37 3153 858

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (801): View more from Utah

  The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance

  Fav 10 4776 824

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

  Fav 37 4568 1072

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...

  Fav 3 3675 1033

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  it's been a while because I don't count the hooker

  Fav 10 1027 3370

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (517): View more from Michigan

  Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.

  Fav 4 1070 2480

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

  Fav 1 2147 923

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

  Fav 9 2772 1139

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

  Fav 1 1033 802

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So Monday we're lesbians.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

  Fav 6 1559 736

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.

  Fav 2 887 551

  share tweet
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart

  Fav 2 414 145

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.

  Fav 1 339 212

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.

  Fav 2 121 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize