She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.