Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

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  (301): Is it necrophilia if we're both dead? http://tfl.nu/6pje
  Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (1040)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night

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  (919): So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night http://tfl.nu/maqo
  Replies (23) Good night (3758) Bad night (883)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
  Replies (37) Good night (4301) Bad night (794)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.

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  (203): Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door. http://tfl.nu/li4e
  Replies (10) Good night (4674) Bad night (632)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

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  (636): I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public http://tfl.nu/ux7y
  Replies (9) Good night (931) Bad night (4217)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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  (912): He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it. http://tfl.nu/csjq
  Replies (21) Good night (5780) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring

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  (661): It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring http://tfl.nu/4h9t
  Replies (8) Good night (1648) Bad night (819)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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  (239): dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me. http://tfl.nu/b0dd
  Replies (15) Good night (4246) Bad night (1062)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.

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  (843): The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year. http://tfl.nu/r78b
  Replies (6) Good night (1481) Bad night (558)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"

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  (513): You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea" http://tfl.nu/kx8t
  Replies (7) Good night (2011) Bad night (579)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.

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  (240): YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN. http://tfl.nu/d5pr
  Replies (12) Good night (2422) Bad night (583)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

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  (773): by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go? http://tfl.nu/xzhw
  Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (506)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.

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  (678): Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are. http://tfl.nu/af34
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry

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  (+61): Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry http://tfl.nu/2c34
  Replies (6) Good night (350) Bad night (682)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.

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  (304): You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard. http://tfl.nu/xmly
  Replies (0) Good night (375) Bad night (222)

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