they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
