I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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