Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

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  (812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/nzcw
  Replies (31) Good night (5671) Bad night (1069)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask

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  (732): I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask http://tfl.nu/8bk4
  Replies (11) Good night (4752) Bad night (786)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.

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  (401): he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys. http://tfl.nu/w8m7
  Replies (28) Good night (1838) Bad night (6949)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.

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  (214): Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/4y7p
  Replies (9) Good night (6262) Bad night (1380)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me

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  (703): yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me http://tfl.nu/feez
  Replies (14) Good night (1103) Bad night (2289)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.

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  (402): He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house. http://tfl.nu/iz51
  Replies (9) Good night (1740) Bad night (3426)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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  (313): Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes. http://tfl.nu/gyak
  Replies (8) Good night (3791) Bad night (1722)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"

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  (623): No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough" http://tfl.nu/d4rh
  Replies (16) Good night (1626) Bad night (842)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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  (502): She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't. http://tfl.nu/5w3y
  Replies (8) Good night (984) Bad night (2589)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade

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  (678): i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade http://tfl.nu/l2g0
  Replies (10) Good night (2062) Bad night (859)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest

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  (612): Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest http://tfl.nu/v0jn
  Replies (4) Good night (872) Bad night (662)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face

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  (319): I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face http://tfl.nu/7v6p
  Replies (9) Good night (1894) Bad night (660)
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  (310): View more from California

  Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.

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  (310): Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/eqfs
  Replies (7) Good night (597) Bad night (1101)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL

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  (403): I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON (403): PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY (403): THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL http://tfl.nu/9qgu
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (564)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.

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  (360): I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh. http://tfl.nu/fhs6
  Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (433)

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