Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

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(212): that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment http://tfl.nu/63lr

Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (2860)
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(917): View more from New York City

ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"

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(917): ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?" http://tfl.nu/yq0r

Replies (1) Good night (2739) Bad night (596)
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(214): View more from Texas

they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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(214): they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids. http://tfl.nu/ux66

Replies (18) Good night (1090) Bad night (2686)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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(920): call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing. http://tfl.nu/ctbc

Replies (8) Good night (748) Bad night (2883)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick

(541): View more from Oregon

the rest of him looks just as crooked

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(503): I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick (541): the rest of him looks just as crooked http://tfl.nu/114k

Replies (14) Good night (655) Bad night (4076)
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(646): View more from New York

Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?

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(646): Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP? http://tfl.nu/u40s

Replies (154) Good night (11842) Bad night (2124)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?

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(978): What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax? http://tfl.nu/zknj

Replies (12) Good night (3612) Bad night (1271)
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(416): View more from Toronto

drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.

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(416): drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/drct

Replies (7) Good night (3323) Bad night (791)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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(440): Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table. http://tfl.nu/pm1l

Replies (3) Good night (2010) Bad night (1047)
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(734): View more from Michigan

If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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(734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j

Replies (13) Good night (3116) Bad night (664)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

(774): View more from Massachusetts

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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(774): omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore.... (774): HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/0qjd

Replies (4) Good night (1851) Bad night (638)
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(480): View more from Arizona

If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.

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(480): If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five. http://tfl.nu/ztzm

Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (318)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"

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(306): dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high" http://tfl.nu/ssrm

Replies (3) Good night (1029) Bad night (291)
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(631): View more from New York

So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.

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(631): So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself. http://tfl.nu/iw9c

Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (268)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.

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(847): Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly. http://tfl.nu/095f

Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (287)

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