Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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  (305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that. http://tfl.nu/r17f
  Replies (41) Good night (893) Bad night (4406)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c

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  (301): i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c http://tfl.nu/a3ua
  Replies (11) Good night (3179) Bad night (493)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...

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  (310): It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass... http://tfl.nu/egbe
  Replies (69) Good night (1411) Bad night (4500)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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  (203): I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon? http://tfl.nu/6yeo
  Replies (34) Good night (4470) Bad night (2418)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.

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  (920): I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/8p2f
  Replies (15) Good night (3683) Bad night (677)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.

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  (507): So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there. http://tfl.nu/r47h
  Replies (10) Good night (5779) Bad night (634)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

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  (508): He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/n1jt
  Replies (2) Good night (3656) Bad night (1051)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.

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  (443): theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down. http://tfl.nu/4061
  Replies (5) Good night (2703) Bad night (927)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  You eat cookies in the shower?

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  (608): BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie. (1-608): You eat cookies in the shower? http://tfl.nu/pj2d
  Replies (10) Good night (3200) Bad night (468)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

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  (914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je
  Replies (8) Good night (1383) Bad night (424)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

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  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (631) Bad night (2112)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER

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  (434): THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER http://tfl.nu/7inm
  Replies (8) Good night (871) Bad night (418)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

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  (+44): I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material http://tfl.nu/6zdu
  Replies (6) Good night (1324) Bad night (227)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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  (806): I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots. http://tfl.nu/ai8j
  Replies (0) Good night (201) Bad night (440)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.

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  (605): I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST. http://tfl.nu/w1we
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (180)

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