I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
