i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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