I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
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he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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