that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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