Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You ruined the universe
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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