Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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