I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
