Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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