Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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