God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize