Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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