Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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