Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
