you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
