considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How does one acquire holy water?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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