I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize