have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
