I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize