I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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