If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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