at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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