I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
