Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
