I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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