So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
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Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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