I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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