We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
