Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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