Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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