This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize