I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
