There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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