on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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