we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
