the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
