i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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