He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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