How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
