Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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