I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
