How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
