I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize