you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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